This year, like every year, I once again found myself spending more time with my elders than with my cousins or a peer-group of a similar age. There is a wisdom, a sure-but-solemn truth that exists within them and unspoken knowledge that resides amidst them.
It brings to mind an evening spent with an 84 year old gentleman, an old colleague of my grand-aunt's. He always comes over when I drop by B'lore - and I cherish each little session that we get to have. His observations and theories on the human mind, social structures and the crossover between science & spirituality are one of the finest I've come across so far - ones that have been personally recounted to me.
It's all like clockwork - he invites himself over, walks over to the sofa, leaves his walking stick at the side and begins by asking me about the changes that have taken place since our last meeting - and then states what seems obvious to him. It's a part that never fails to surprise me - he always manages to catch something I wasn't aware of or something that I assumed wasn't too obvious.
Irrespective of the duration (which usually stretches over two hours), I'm always left a little wiser than when I started - and a little more hungry for the vast expanse of knowledge (spread over a wide range of disciplines) that's out there.
It isn't just him - it's the rest of my elders as well - each one of them have something valuable to say about some aspect of my growing up and perception of things - viewpoints I couldn't have hoped to gain from my peers or parents. Some recounted in a cryptic form, others as stories and even more as little anecdotes that you might miss if you happen to get distracted at the wrong time. Some spout the wealth of wisdom they have - others are slightly more hushed about it. No matter how old they get, they can never fail to amaze.
Another mention I must make is about my great-grand-aunt - an incredible woman with willpower that would put so many to shame. Who would expect that an elderly woman who can barely walk and whose eyesight is failing her could still have such fine tuned mental faculties and formidable recall? Her memory truly intrigues me - she manages to remember so much - some things that have happened more than 40 to 50 years ago - with such accuracy. She manages to identify us even though we may only come by once a year - and she remembers our personalities, likes and dislikes. She relies on nobody and is in possession of such a beautiful command of the English language, that I could only hope to have such a skill once I reach her age.
It is beautiful. Nothing short of it. Any elder, no matter however seemingly 'boring', 'out-of-trend' or 'annoying' has a story - one that would involve some sort of struggle, adventure or accomplishment - something that could potentially blow your mind. They could've been rebels at their age, done awesome things and taken colossal risks. After an eventful life and ending up with a family, ending up with you, all they could ever want would be to sit down with you and tell you about their lives - not to bore you, but to inspire you, to make you think, to give you the little bit of character and spirit that they choose to give to you. After all, what more could give them happiness than to see you facing the world head on and achieving your dreams without regret?
A common thing I've heard is about elders being 'grouchy', 'obstinate' or 'moody'. Honestly? Please stop your whining and grow a sense of patience. You can't even begin to imagine the changes they've faced in their lifetime. Try to visualise it. They grew up without smartphones, televisions, many gadgets and of course the internet. Scientific progress was progressing at its own rate. There were so many things that were believed to be right - but proven wrong as time went on. We read about what they lived through. Some of our recent history is what they knew as a part of daily life. Do this - imagine for a second that every single thing you knew was suddenly challenged, some even considered fallacies. Imagine the places you love to hangout at, or know well, completely transformed and altered. Is it any wonder at all that they try to cling to what they see as normal? Normalcy is purely subjective - what maybe normal for me, may not entirely be normal for you (actually that is true in my case - weird is my status quo!). So, the very fact that they've managed to do what they've done is commendable enough.
Give them time, give them love and give them respect.
It is enough.
It brings to mind an evening spent with an 84 year old gentleman, an old colleague of my grand-aunt's. He always comes over when I drop by B'lore - and I cherish each little session that we get to have. His observations and theories on the human mind, social structures and the crossover between science & spirituality are one of the finest I've come across so far - ones that have been personally recounted to me.
It's all like clockwork - he invites himself over, walks over to the sofa, leaves his walking stick at the side and begins by asking me about the changes that have taken place since our last meeting - and then states what seems obvious to him. It's a part that never fails to surprise me - he always manages to catch something I wasn't aware of or something that I assumed wasn't too obvious.
Irrespective of the duration (which usually stretches over two hours), I'm always left a little wiser than when I started - and a little more hungry for the vast expanse of knowledge (spread over a wide range of disciplines) that's out there.
It isn't just him - it's the rest of my elders as well - each one of them have something valuable to say about some aspect of my growing up and perception of things - viewpoints I couldn't have hoped to gain from my peers or parents. Some recounted in a cryptic form, others as stories and even more as little anecdotes that you might miss if you happen to get distracted at the wrong time. Some spout the wealth of wisdom they have - others are slightly more hushed about it. No matter how old they get, they can never fail to amaze.
Another mention I must make is about my great-grand-aunt - an incredible woman with willpower that would put so many to shame. Who would expect that an elderly woman who can barely walk and whose eyesight is failing her could still have such fine tuned mental faculties and formidable recall? Her memory truly intrigues me - she manages to remember so much - some things that have happened more than 40 to 50 years ago - with such accuracy. She manages to identify us even though we may only come by once a year - and she remembers our personalities, likes and dislikes. She relies on nobody and is in possession of such a beautiful command of the English language, that I could only hope to have such a skill once I reach her age.
It is beautiful. Nothing short of it. Any elder, no matter however seemingly 'boring', 'out-of-trend' or 'annoying' has a story - one that would involve some sort of struggle, adventure or accomplishment - something that could potentially blow your mind. They could've been rebels at their age, done awesome things and taken colossal risks. After an eventful life and ending up with a family, ending up with you, all they could ever want would be to sit down with you and tell you about their lives - not to bore you, but to inspire you, to make you think, to give you the little bit of character and spirit that they choose to give to you. After all, what more could give them happiness than to see you facing the world head on and achieving your dreams without regret?
A common thing I've heard is about elders being 'grouchy', 'obstinate' or 'moody'. Honestly? Please stop your whining and grow a sense of patience. You can't even begin to imagine the changes they've faced in their lifetime. Try to visualise it. They grew up without smartphones, televisions, many gadgets and of course the internet. Scientific progress was progressing at its own rate. There were so many things that were believed to be right - but proven wrong as time went on. We read about what they lived through. Some of our recent history is what they knew as a part of daily life. Do this - imagine for a second that every single thing you knew was suddenly challenged, some even considered fallacies. Imagine the places you love to hangout at, or know well, completely transformed and altered. Is it any wonder at all that they try to cling to what they see as normal? Normalcy is purely subjective - what maybe normal for me, may not entirely be normal for you (actually that is true in my case - weird is my status quo!). So, the very fact that they've managed to do what they've done is commendable enough.
Give them time, give them love and give them respect.
It is enough.
